I was born in the Germantown section of Philadelphia, PA. During the summer I turned twelve years old I experienced an unclassified psychological event that left me with total retrograde amnesia. Everything that wasn't a biological function was forgotten. Family and friends became strangers. My motor and English language skills remained while memories and the connections that came with them were lost

I was deathly afraid of allowing anyone to know of my condition. The intensity of my fear led to hiding the loss from everyone, including my family. I was alone in a foreign world I knew should be familiar. My best friends were photo albums used as flashcards. The summer was spent rediscovering the world outside and around me. Learning about popular music, movies, and trends was relatively simple. Talking with people was a trial and error process made less stressful by attending new summer camps. It was the exact opposite once the school year began.

I attended a small neighborhood Quaker school named Greene Street Friends. At best my sixth grade experience could be called, ‘rough.’ A child’s capacity for kindness is sadly matched by cruelty. Studying school yearbooks did not hold a candle to years of community building and the personalities that designed it. The words and actions of peers bred depression and outbursts of anger. It was the patience and love from my teachers that got me through it.

It was to my life saving fortune that I received teachers who taught beyond the textbook. They modeled hands-on and social emotional learning via words and actions.

The memories I was creating had themes of high expectations, stern support, and understanding matched with empathy. By the time I left Greene Street Friends social interactions and building friendships required less effort. They became second nature, much like my tendency toward listening over speaking and observing those around me.

It was inevitable that I took on the mantle of a teacher. In the place of childhood fear grew a desire to design safe spaces for children. I was proud to have my own classrooms but the hurt overtook the hope. Contrary to everything I envisioned, my time as a teacher shattered my mental and physical health. My years in elementary, middle, and high school classrooms were filled with anxiety, panic attacks, and debilitating self doubt. Days involved failing to fight back tears in the parking lot. Nights were spent questioning if life was worth waking up to fail again.

The love of my students, and mine for them could not counter the sadness. My apartment brimmed with expensive replacements for a purpose driven life. I deteriorated to the point of taking a medical sabbatical mid year due to thoughts of ending everything. I had no more tears with which to water my desk.

On my first day of leave I broke my spine.

An accident at my local gym led to fractured vertebrae and herniated discs in the lumbar area of my spine. Alternating between nothing and absolute agony kept me from any non-drug assisted movement. The bed I had been too anxious to sleep in and the thoughts I wanted to escape through exercise became my world.  

Procedures and injections were paired with reflection and introspection. When one of the top spine surgeons in America spontaneously had an opening and interest in me, my life did a back flip!

My almost year long life processing became fuel for change. A dedication to physical therapy and the encouragement and clarity provided by my family and friends had me walking, dancing, and eventually selling everything to drive everywhere in the direction of left. I was tired of being tired. It was time to live.

That fall I hit the road. With about three months worth of miles and stories under my belt I settled in Austin as 2015 opened. I decided to explore education with my new life view and priorities.

I took on the positions of education director, preschool inclusion and third grade ESL teacher, and providing social emotional learning support in charter schools.

While my heart naturally went out for my students I began feeling the same for my colleagues. Too many were worn down as I had been.

I saw educators suffering and a system taking advantage of them. I watched students struggling to make sense of why a new adult was taking over their classroom mid year. After another road trip and reflection time I came to the following conclusion: I could create safe spaces for young people by providing their caretakers with the energy and life enjoyment to stay with them.

While overcoming the spiral of the COVID pandemic, losing health insurance and medication access I became a Certified Mental Health and Recovery Peer Specialist. I now use my story and the strategies that keep me balanced to help others in their journey to live a happy and healthy self-directed life!